Here we are, Nanowrimo 2019 and having a go again. Yes, we have a history.

Let me tell you, it has been rough for us both.

I’ve done NaNoWriMo four times before (with ‘done’, I meant started and failed), with the most I have written being 38k words in 2016 and the least 360 words last year. None of those four ideas really stuck. None of those drafts were in the slightest bit coherent. I’m going to be completely honest now and admit that my problem has always been my own insecurity.

Ever since I can remember, I wanted to be an author. But my whole life I’ve never actually written a novel, have less than five short stories that I’d show other people and never really thought of myself as a writer. Recently, I’ve even been deliberately avoiding creative writing (finally thinking that it was not for me). Every time I sit down to write something, I’m always stuck. It’s not that I don’t want the words to come out, it’s that I simply can’t come up with the characters or plots or settings (which are, obviously, the three things a writer has to create when writing fiction). For the past few years, I’ve started to think of myself as not creative. I wonder if thinking it makes it true.

It also seems that I’m really just attracted by the idea of being a writer. Well, this year I’m going to find out whether or not I’m cut to be one.

Hopefully 2019 will be the year I finally reach 50k in a month, although that’s not the ultimate goal, nor is finishing a novel (though that’d be pretty awesome). What I want is to find the joy in writing and rediscover what had instilled the love of words in me all those years back. I want to experience myself what other writers feel when they write (or at least, start to write) a novel – how my characters could come alive and have their own thoughts, rebelling against my outline and setting their own course of the book. I want to feel the excitement.

I don’t know how often I’ll be posting, but I will record my progress regularly to keep track of my word count, thoughts and sanity. Perhaps I’ll compile a few days’ entries up to a week’s, depending on how eventful the days are and how long the entries are.

Forewarning, this will be a raw and unedited account of my personal experience doing Nanowrimo 2019. Most of it will be messy, so read at your own risk.

Day 1

After working on Story A outline for the last few days of October, I got pretty excited to start writing so it wasn’t that hard to reach the daily word goal. I got most of the words down in the morning and ended up mostly just exploring how two of the characters interact with each other instead of following the plot outline. Oh well.

• Words written today: 1,750
• Total word count: 1,750

Day 2

Started to feel bored a couple hundred words in, wrote 180 words of a new story, didn’t like it, took a break. For some reason got inspired again so I continued working on Story A. However, reaching the word goal was harder.

• Words written today: 1,718
• Total word count: 3,468

Day 3

I have completely abandoned Story A. I don’t know why, but I really struggled getting a single word written today. The story felt boring and it felt like I’d lost all interest in it already (in only 2 days lol). BUT, then I came across a prompt in one of the NaNo forums (“They found the boy floating alone in the ocean.”) which for some reason really stuck with me. So I typed that in my NaNo document and suddenly I had 500 words of Story B. Continued writing and the rest of the words just flowed out! I made up the characters on the spot, and hopefully within the next few thousand words I’ll be able to flesh them out more. I have no idea where this story will lead, but I’m quite excited. Hopefully I’ll stick with this idea until the end of the month?

Anyway, let me share the first few lines of Story B.

They found the boy floating alone in the ocean. At first they thought it was a dead body, but as they came closer, they realized his eyes were open. His hands were crossed across his chest, one of his legs perched on top of the other, looking like someone lying casually on solid ground, except it was water underneath him. The boy must have noticed the boat approaching, for his eyes darted towards them in greeting and his lips then formed a small smile.

• Words written today: 1,828
• Total word count: 5,296

Anyway, that’s my Nanowrimo 2019 experience so far.

I also wrote a short story a day in May last year!